Creative mind from an insane lunatic.

I want you to know that I cheerished everyday you stood beside me. As much as I wanted you to be here today; cycle of life drag you away. I clearly wasn’t prepared for you to embark despite being aware that your time was drawing to a near end. Even though I sometimes complained about the long walks I would take you on; I loved it. I am dearly missing them. You clearly brought a positive side to my life. You are a precious gift that I was lucky enough to receive for such a long time. Seeing you laying on the garage no longer breathing, made my legs give out completely; unable to stand. I was expecting you to jump on the fence due to my precense. Something that came to a comfort to me..

I know that people in the family did and said things that made your life difficult which was not needed. I was always fighting for you. I would never let anyone lay a hand on you. We both know that because I’ve protected you before. I was always trying to find the best of you. I love you with all my heart. I should of tried harder knowing I could of gone an extra distance. But know I tried nearly to my full potential. I woke up yesterday morning not seeing you jump on the fence, nor a familiar barking sound; knowing you did that everytime you knew I was near. Especially you was very aware of the sound of my footsteps. Hearing my footsteps, you instantly began barking because you knew it was me just around the corner.

I cried today in the morning because I am realzing that the fact I didn’t walk you yesterday; I won’t be able to walk you anymore. No one will ever replace you or ever be near to replacing you. I will never forget you and these scars on my right hand is proof. You lived longer than anyone expected. A very strong and durable family member. An unmatched will. None could compare. No matter what life threw at you; you still proudly stood and welcomed us to your life.

I never wanted to see you go. I miss you dearly. The only thing I proudly said I love was taking away from me. I don’t want to dwell on the wishful thinking but I wish I could of spend your final hours with you. Words simply couldn’t compare my love for you nor can it describe the pain I felt this very morning when I cried. Yet I still went to school.. Today I put on an act pretending nothing was wrong but as soon as I got home I cried and cried.

My life without you is different now. I don’t like it. My mom walks in my room asking if i’m alright. I instantly began crying. Everyone is worrying about me going into a depression. I’m crying all day, barely eating, not sleeping at all, ect. I never wanted you to go. I always thought you would never go despite being aware your time was drawing to an end. I simply thought as long as we have each other, we would never fade. It struck me than any lost I’ve suffered from. I love you with all my heart. To know you’re gone, just makes me collapse. No one truly knows how I feel. Everyday is a currently a struggle. But one day; everyday will become a blessing because I spent nine amazing years with you. That’s something I can truly cherish. I love you very much.

I love you JD.  I took care of you everyday for  nine wonderful years. Sometimes it was pleasent, sometimes it was rough for you. You was an guardian angel to me. A precious gift in my life. I want to take another long walk with you again.. But God took you to a better place. I wasn’t prepared for you to embark. I cried worst than a baby because I miss my son. You was the only person I truly loved my whole life. I truly miss my guardian angel.

-Love Jordan.