Creative mind from an insane lunatic.

Their was a time when my world was filled with darkness.
Where I tried to fill the hole with love.
I stopped dreaming so I tried to fill it up with something.
Still trying to make my mind up.
Am I free or am I tied up?
Only I know when I slip, yes I slip, I’m an animal.
Coupe’ De Grace the darkness that rest assures within my aura.
In your eyes I see somebody I knew once before, long, long, long ago.

Their was a time when my world was filled with darkness.
Where I tried to fill the hole with friendships.
I stopped dreaming so I tried to fill it up with something.
Still deciding what must be done to make things right.
I lastly disembark to cherish my last love in my dreams.
Where I hallucinated to believe you was only an abridged distance.
So I locked myself in an aviary where I was held against my will by wooden doors and concrete walls.
Trying to contained myself before my sanity drew thin.

Once I set my eyes into yours, I finally became aware.

That everything will turn out to be perfect through time.

When we was near each other, things we’re beyond fantastic. 
Despite the struggles that stun me to my knees, you decided to add upon them. 
I never expected our friendship to end in front of me because I kept you safe and because of a silly past of mines. 

I know I wasn’t built perfect but If I wanted to be, I’d tried my best to be perfect just to receive our friendship once again. 
To me, you felt like the third closest person in my life currently. 
I’ve made my share of mistakes.
But because of one mistake, it led to meeting you. 
And that mistake, was possibly the reason you left me that day.
It hurt me to see it unfold in front of me. Unexpected considering how great things we’re going for us. 
You buried our friendship like I had to bury JD. 
By not coming back..

I wish things we’re different, but it’s part of life. People come and go; some stay; some don’t. 
I clearly wanted you to stay though.
And I thought, no; I believed I finally found a reason to stay in Florida..

In other words, 
you are a wonderful and beautiful person. 
I wish you the best in life. 
I’ll pray for once just for you to come back because I’m missing you everyday.
Friends? 

Love, The Lunatic.

I want you to know that I cheerished everyday you stood beside me. As much as I wanted you to be here today; cycle of life drag you away. I clearly wasn’t prepared for you to embark despite being aware that your time was drawing to a near end. Even though I sometimes complained about the long walks I would take you on; I loved it. I am dearly missing them. You clearly brought a positive side to my life. You are a precious gift that I was lucky enough to receive for such a long time. Seeing you laying on the garage no longer breathing, made my legs give out completely; unable to stand. I was expecting you to jump on the fence due to my precense. Something that came to a comfort to me..

I know that people in the family did and said things that made your life difficult which was not needed. I was always fighting for you. I would never let anyone lay a hand on you. We both know that because I’ve protected you before. I was always trying to find the best of you. I love you with all my heart. I should of tried harder knowing I could of gone an extra distance. But know I tried nearly to my full potential. I woke up yesterday morning not seeing you jump on the fence, nor a familiar barking sound; knowing you did that everytime you knew I was near. Especially you was very aware of the sound of my footsteps. Hearing my footsteps, you instantly began barking because you knew it was me just around the corner.

I cried today in the morning because I am realzing that the fact I didn’t walk you yesterday; I won’t be able to walk you anymore. No one will ever replace you or ever be near to replacing you. I will never forget you and these scars on my right hand is proof. You lived longer than anyone expected. A very strong and durable family member. An unmatched will. None could compare. No matter what life threw at you; you still proudly stood and welcomed us to your life.

I never wanted to see you go. I miss you dearly. The only thing I proudly said I love was taking away from me. I don’t want to dwell on the wishful thinking but I wish I could of spend your final hours with you. Words simply couldn’t compare my love for you nor can it describe the pain I felt this very morning when I cried. Yet I still went to school.. Today I put on an act pretending nothing was wrong but as soon as I got home I cried and cried.

My life without you is different now. I don’t like it. My mom walks in my room asking if i’m alright. I instantly began crying. Everyone is worrying about me going into a depression. I’m crying all day, barely eating, not sleeping at all, ect. I never wanted you to go. I always thought you would never go despite being aware your time was drawing to an end. I simply thought as long as we have each other, we would never fade. It struck me than any lost I’ve suffered from. I love you with all my heart. To know you’re gone, just makes me collapse. No one truly knows how I feel. Everyday is a currently a struggle. But one day; everyday will become a blessing because I spent nine amazing years with you. That’s something I can truly cherish. I love you very much.

I love you JD.  I took care of you everyday for  nine wonderful years. Sometimes it was pleasent, sometimes it was rough for you. You was an guardian angel to me. A precious gift in my life. I want to take another long walk with you again.. But God took you to a better place. I wasn’t prepared for you to embark. I cried worst than a baby because I miss my son. You was the only person I truly loved my whole life. I truly miss my guardian angel.

-Love Jordan.

I got a plan that will astonish you;
You got a plan that will demolish me.
I got an idea that will fly us above;
You got an idea that will ground us below.
I want to hold your hands;
You want to spit onto mines.
I want to pick you up;
You want to put me down.
I want to hold you;
You want to push me away.
I want to kiss you;
You want to turn around.
I want to love you;
You want to hate me.
I desire to be with you;
You desire life without me.

I got a plan that requires you beside me;
You got a plan that doesn’t involve my existence.
I want to make you my first place;
You want to settle for last place.
I want to endure obstacles with you;
You want to suffer alone.
I want to crumble by your presence;
You want to vanish from my presence.
I want to see the sunset with you;
You want to see Armageddon day.
I want to stare at stars with you;
You wish I was a shooting star.